Bang, Bang! Your Head, If You Watch It

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Bang Bang! Movie Review

‘A recording of moving images that tells a story and that people watch on the screen or television’ is how the folks at Merriam-Webster define the word ‘movie.’ Assuming that these guys know what they are doing (yes, they do!), it would be foolish for anyone to call Bang Bang! a movie. In fact, Bang Bang! is more like a travel show than a movie. It so happens that I also run a website that carries travel articles, and while I sat haplessly watching this movie, I wondered if I should carry a write-up on it on my travel website rather than this website.

Another thought that crossed my vexed mind was the luck of the cast and crew of the movie. Imagine traveling all around the world, being in the company of talented people (most of whom, incidentally, never had to use their talent in the making of this movie), and just have a merry time, all in the pretext of charting out a movie that in the end turns out to be far from one. However, I must say that the dialogue writer of this movie couldn’t have worked any harder. I mean, how could he have written such dimwitted and banal dialogues without spending every ounce of energy that thou had bestowed upon him.

My wife commented at one point during the movie that she indeed knew who Hrithik Roshan was (in the movie). However, by that point, I couldn’t care less about the finale. I mean, seriously, hadn’t all that which could go wrong with a movie already been surpassed by then.

As I was forced to see Hrithik Roshan’s naked torso and giggle at Katrina Kaif’s consistent inability to act, I felt rather out of place in the theater. But it wasn’t only me, even the people who admire Salman Khan’s ability to entertain the crowds were in for a big disappointment. Let me play the devil’s advocate here and say that you went to the theater solely to see the Hrithikesque machoism and Katrinaesque charm. However, if this were your only purpose, why bother sitting through two and a half hours of nothing that comes along with all that machoism and charm. You’d as well go to a fashion show. On the other hand, you do not care much for all that and might want to watch the movie for the exotic locales. Even in that case, you’d be far better off switching on to, let’s say, the National Geographic Channel sitting on your couch and spending almost zilch.

You see, it is pointless playing the devil’s advocate here. It will never make any sense why anyone would want to watch a movie like this one. Well, you are probably wondering by now as to why I haven’t written anything about the story. I think, I have made it quite clear through my write-up that there isn’t any story that you haven’t seen before in countless movies, albeit, depicted in a much better way. Despite this, if you still feel inclined to watch this movie, I think that you deserve the disappointment. In fact, it is because of you (and folks like you) that such movies continue to be made.

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